Talk with Bishop!!

Tonight I had the best talk ever with my bishop!! I learned a lot from him tonight!! I am very happy we had a chance to talk tonight!! Well, this week I have a few things going on, Thursday I have to go to the TAU activity then on friday, i have a med.term at school. Yuck lol wish me luck. Saturday is my day to sleep all day long lol well see how that works out for me lol.

The Past Week....

Well, This past week has been crazy in so many different ways! Well, I went to therapy and talked about what was going on. Then I went to my friends house and we just chilled for a while. That was a lot of fun! I also went to Alpine to see Jackie, that went pretty good :) It was hard to talk about what was going on but over all it was good. This week is going to be another crazy week LOL.... On Monday I am going on a date. We are going to Olive Garden then going to go see a movie. I am very excited about that. Then Tuesday I am going to a class with a friend. On wed. I meet with my Bishop then after that at my church we are having a sports night. That will be a LOT of fun!!!! On Thursday I have therapy again and Friday well I have nothing planed but i am sure that will change. Saturday I have a YSA Activity at the church then Sunday well church and SLEEP LOL! that's my week crazy but fun. I also have school Monday throw Friday :( Well I have to go to sleep but i will write tomorrow :)

Going To Alpine to see Jackie....

Okay well I am going to see Jackie at Alpine at 2pm. Apart of me is really excited but the other part is scared! I am scared because I have this feeling that i should be doing better then i am because i did graduate alpine. I have talked to Nikki about it and she says not to worry about it. Well, the point of going to Alpine is to talk to Jackie and tell her whats been going on, and to see if you has any ideas about how i can get help. I am afraid that Jackie is going to be mad and look down on me because I have not been doing very good this past month. She has never done that before, so its just me worried about nothing. Well I am going to go to bed, wake up and well lets just say i am going to hope for the best. GOODNIGHT :)

What is suicide?

What is suicide? Some people would say it's not a good thing, some would say it's the only way they can get away from all the crap in there life.

Well as you all know I have an eating disorder. I have realized that I am just trying to kill my self with it. In order to live and be healthy every one needs to eat food. Well I have not been eating at all. I want to die. And there's no one out there that can stop me! I am killing myself with the eating disorder because its slow and people don't really pick up on it.

What is going on with me tonight ...

Tonight....

WOW, tonight has been a very long night. The beging was really good! I got home and all i could think about was how I am going to lose 5 pounds in a week. I have a problem but I am not sure how to slove it. All I want is people to care. Well what ever, I am just sick of trying. Some people dont understand I want to get better, but that does not happen over night! I want to get help but I dont know where to go to get the help.

Read and think about these!!

" Don't hold strong opinions about thing you don't understand!"

" My time has come, and so i'm gone. To a better place, far beyond. I love you all as you can see. But its better now, because i'm free!"

" Just because i'm smilling doesn't mean i'm happy"

" Sometime's it hurts more to smile in front of everyone, then to cry all alone"

" I want to be remembered as the girl who always smiled, the one who could brighten up your day, even if she couldn't brighten her own!"

" The only thing worse then being hated is being IGNORED. At least when they hate you they stile treat you like you exist!"

" Do you ever lay in bed at night hoping you wake up in the Emergency room and hear the words (she's not going to make it) I HAVE!"

Take some time, think about these!!!!

What is patience?

Tonight I went to one of my friends house and hen another one of her friends came over. We talked about the book of Mormon and thing each of use need to work on. Well I found out that I need to work on my patience big time. lol. Well, we will see how that works out for me. I have a hard time being patient because I feel things should just happen right away, and when I do not get my way I tend to get angry and sometimes just give up. Well I will be working on this for a VERY long time!